Hey man, I’m the guy from the other day that sent you the story that was missing a bunch of parts. Sorry it took so long to resend this, I’ve been busy the last few days and haven’t had time to retype it all out. Anyway, so here it is again in full. Thanks in advance for posting it and for your input..
What’s up, man? I just discovered your blog today, so first I want to say kudos. I like what you’re doing here, keep it up. The main reason I decided to hit up your ask box though is because I am seeking some advice. See, I’ve been looking for the right outlet to share my story for quite some time, and I feel like you and your followers might be able to help. I want to tell you about something that very few people know about me, only two or three of my closest friends, in fact. This is something that has caused me grief for many years now, and it will continue to do so until I can find some closure. This is a true story about a curious adolescent boy (me) and his younger sister. We are roughly 7 years apart in age. I can’t remember exactly how old we were when this happened, but I’m gonna say I was around 14/15 and she was 7/8ish.
Up to that point, I had been in relationships, but obviously had never done anything sexual with a girl. I had always craved knowledge about the female body in my teenage years, and did as much research as I could online, and talked about it to my female friends who were comfortable with it. My sister and I shared a bunk bed for a while at the time. I honestly can’t remember the first time I decided to climb up into her bunk after she fell asleep, but something in me decided that the Internet wasn’t enough, and I needed to explore a female body for real.
It started out innocent at first, I’d just test the waters to see how heavy of a sleeper she was. A poke here, a nudge there. Then I started to get a little more daring. I’d touch her crotch over the clothes, still being very cautious about waking her. Then once I knew that was safe, I moved on to touching her over her underwear, and then finally touching her bare vagina. Mind you, this all happened over a span of days, if not weeks. But I still wasn’t satisfied, I wanted to see it. So I’d pull her shorts and underwear aside and touch her, finger her a little, and just overall explore. One time I even dared to lick her out a bit.
So that was over the course of a summer or so, and if that was all I ever did, I probably wouldn’t have a problem now. She never woke up, I never got caught, and she’d be none the wiser. But of course it doesn’t stop there. A couple weeks or months or whatever later, I decided I wanted to see her fully naked, and I came up with a plan to hide a camera in the bathroom and record her after a shower.
When the day came, she announced that she’d be taking a shower, and I told her I had to pee first. So I went in the bathroom and I set the camera up in what I thought was an inconspicuous place, started the video capture, and let it do its thing. So she took her shower and when she left the bathroom, she hadn’t said anything about it, so I figured my plan was a success! I went and grabbed my camera and waited until later that night to upload the video to my computer. When I went to watch the playback, everything seemed normal. Until the end, that is. She got out of the shower and started toweling off and whatnot, and I guess something caught the corner of her eye, and that’s when she saw the camera. She picked it up, realized what was going on, and I will never forget that moment where she turned the lens back on her face and said right to it, “You are SO busted.”
But the strange thing is, I never did get busted. She never told on me. She left the camera in there for me to retrieve, and never said a word. I don’t know why. So…fast forward to about ten years later, which is present day. Neither of us has ever mentioned it still, but I have this guilty conscience, a skeleton in my closet that knows I violated my sister when she was way too young. Worst part is, I still have “unsavory” thoughts about her from time to time, as she has grown into quite an attractive young lady. And since this IS an incest appreciation blog, I’m not afraid to admit that there’s a part of me that wishes I could fuck her just once. But I digress. Lol. Here’s my question..
There is a part of me that feels the need to apologize to her for the things I did. But I have no idea how she would react. We have never really had a close sibling relationship due to living in separate states for many years now, but since she’s getting older now, I’ve been trying to establish a closer bond with her. But I don’t know if she even remembers that day. And if she doesn’t, then how am I supposed to tell her that I did those things to her? I don’t want to be seen as a monster and lose her completely. Or do I just continue to leave things as is and hope that she has long since forgotten about her big brother trying to see her naked? That’s what I’ve been doing up to this point, but still, that part of me wants closure.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read all this, and for giving me the outlet to share it. You and any of your followers are welcome to give input. I’ll be keeping an eye out for responses. Thanks again. :)
Sorry it took me so long to finally post it.